So this is christmas....

Christmas is meant for a time to stop and recognize and celebrate the birth of Christ our Lord and Savior. But sometimes people use this time to glorify themselves, bring others down, and just be scrooge. This is the season of giving, caring abou others, and loving family members, not just ignoring, stnewalling, or making rude comments/statements.
I saw a little boy with his parents in Target last night and the father was yelling and scolding his on for being happy and rejoicing that there were gifts under their tree. I watched them for a bit because I was looking for a gift in the same area they were in. I found this situation sad and depressing. Can we not all love each other? It doesn't matter wat this year has brought, what has happened recently or in the past, if you are with your family this holiday season be light hearted rejoice! God has put blessings in your path, recognize them and thank Him for them! He does these things fr us, although we are sinners (all sins are equal) and we were the reason that the baby who's birth that we celebrate in 2 days had to die on a cross 2012 years ago. He still loves us after we lie, cheat, and do other sins. Please remember these things this season! 

Vent

Hello Dear Readers (all 3 of you),
I hope everyone is doing well and life is wonderful. I am blogging at 12:19 am because I am frustrated with the people who were my friends at home, who act friendly when I see them but dont acknowledge my existance when I am here. Hmm... sounds like what happened to my brother. I give him props for dropping these folks a long time ago. Also because he does not have a fb and therefore has less drama in his blessed life. Maybe I should take heed to what he has done and follow suit? Yes I will keep my blog! Always!! It helps me focus, calm down, and relax.
Anyways, I just needed to say something more than what I tweeted, Goodnight!!
Love,
Eliza

Setin in an almost empty class

Today... well its not even 10am and I am already sweaty, so yay! I am praying that this busy day goes well and that everything goes as planned. Class, class, lunch, oil change, school work, church, college group, more school work until around 12am at which time I will lay down in my big comfy bed and fall asleep just to wake up a few hours later and go to more classes.
Yesterday I had a suprise on my way to class that made me want to scream in pain and just go home. I have a blister on the bottom of my foot that popped. All of a sudden I had water all in my flip flop, I didn't step in water, and as I looked down while continuing to walk the pain began. Oh joy!
Well, that's the outrageous story for today, more later!
Love,
Eliza

So here i am

Hello.... sorry its been a while. I have been so busy with school and litterally have only had time to eat sleep school talk to my bf. Ready for Friday when I get a short break bu I gotta make sure my school work is done before. I have had a time trying to get some volunteer work for classes. I hope everyone else is having a better start to school than I am. Can I graduate already? Please so I can move on with my life. What may be on my horizon idk... apt of my own, my kitten back, career, marriage, babies? Idk I am just ready for my life to start, since I have been stuck in school since fall 06. Its time, u kno? Like that moment... really semester that I want to jump off the cliff to find myself in the future.
Sleep time, more later, love
Eliza

Ahh

So here I am once again waiting for a class to open it door and let me in, except this time I am sweating up a storm. Icky! Not just glistening like females do. Of course I forgot my water bottle and of course I have no idea what I am gonna do with the hour in between classes. I am really ready for this semester to beover already and I am not really enjoying my class load. I miss momma, daddy and that wonderful man who has captured my heart.
Well the door just opened so more later!
Love Eliza

Gifts

Why are more and more people saying "don't get me anything for my bday" what am I supposed to do then? How do I celebrate, how do I show love, grrrrr
I did just tweet about it, but that will pobably just be lost in twitter within the next few days never to be found again.
I still love bloging from my phone and I did finish season 4 of supernatural today. Pizza and rum go wonderfully together.... lol. Sooo hope evryone is having a fantastic Friday.
Much love,
Eliza

Maybe a bit overkill?

Watching supernatural like this is messing with dreams and mindset. I am jumpy and easily scareable. I don't currently like being alone because of the rediculous amt I am watching. I have almost finished season four of the 6 season marathon my bf has me watching. Ghosts, vamps, demons, angels.... that stuff isn't real but the show sure is messing with me. Almost like a non ending scary movie, and istracting myself with the computer while still listening to this show I am currently watching doesn't help either. Does anyone else even wach this show?
I do love my sam and dean asmuch as any other girl, or posibly guy? I can't wait to se how the shows I have seen link up to these that I am currently watching. The titls are always funny and dang I have tunnel vision from typing this on my phone. I still am in awe of the fact that I can inded type my blog from my phone. I bet I could start wriing some on here also if I found a way. Does anyone know of any good apps for that?
Okay gotta watch my boys more closely!!
Love and Later,
Eliza

Gwen fangirl

Just bought new purse from Ross that has HL all over it. Although that is not the reason I am blogging I thought it was super cal-i or however Gwen spells it. I hve a good friend who is going throuh some serious breakup issues and yesterdays poem was inspired by that. I started t explain when it was posted but didn't have the time to.
Anyways, this is what I want to say about yesterdays post. Hope everyone is having a great day!
Love,
Eliza

Sinking like the Titanic

New poem was posted today on my other blog, its not about my life, just life in general, what I witness around me- in the lives of friends and family.
I am on break from school, relaxing and trying to enjoy some fun time. Wish I had more time to blog, write, etc. But its ok, one day I will have that time to do what I want and enjoy writing.
I am taking 6 classes this fall term and they are all hardcore stuff, Writing, CHFD, Health Edu. Two classes of each.
Anyways, more later.
Eliza

Today...

Kinda been one of those lazy don't want to do nething dayz. I am of course texting this blog in from my phone and comfort of my once was now is my sisters bed. I may go catch a flick at the amc tonight but idk yet. Ready for this break to feel idk different or something from just a weekend away, I definantly don't want to go back to school yet. Sooo freaking happy its summer. We'll idk what else to say today but ily all.
Ttyl,
Eliza

Scary nights, scarier days, life has ups and life has downs

Has something bad/ sad ever happened to you that you had no control over? Even though I can see the good out of this, can see how great God is and how much He is looking out for me, it has started to haunt my dreams. I think that its going to take a while longer to just get over, although it is making me very moody and I do feel bad for those around me who have to deal with that. It would be nice to talk all of this out ad vent, but I really think that would either be annoying or confusing.
All for now, love,
Eliza

Frankly my dear....

Have you ever had one of those moments that you could quote a great movie? Well recetly it has been 'Gone with the Wind' for me. Everything from "frankly my dear" to that epic kiss and phrase about her needing to be kissed more often and by someone who knows how to properly. Of course I am not saying this out loud, he may think I am crazy after a kiss goodbye i qoute rhett butler, but still I think it is a bit funny.
So... classes are finally over for the summer semester, thank God. Now it is time for me to focus on family time, a few projects and God. I am soo not ready for six classes this fall. In fact I am just ready to be done. Enough is enough!!
Well, enough of my ranting, this is very cool to be blogging from my phone, but more later!
Love,
Eliza

Ealy morning late nights

Just realized something cool that I probably already knew before but it just came to mind. Strong leader males will always need a strong leader female. Yes they may go with females who are not alpha among their circles of friends and vice versa but the theory will always hold true, just look at history. Adam and Eve, esther and the king, queen victoria and prince albert (who was her suport- he might not have been king but he was her equal) so maybe it is all about equality? 

Today in the world of Eliza

Hello internet world, how is everyone? Today...... hmm I woke up at 8am went to Ihop went to brandsmart worked on my project for the last class I am taking this summer... this is a strange way to blog, I am currently blogging with my phone, what a stragne idea. Wonder who thought of making a blogger app? Now that person is smart... I don't think this particular post will hold any significant details and there was no real reason for it. I am just glad I can now blog more because I am always wishing I hd my computer for this at random moments.

I want to, but something stops me. What that thing is, I do not know.

I want to write. Every writing class I take just pushes me a little farther to do so. Why am I so drawn to the written language, more than any other "talent" "subject" "interest area" "form of expression".
ONCE AGAIN-- I am sitting in a class writing on a piece of college ruled lined white crisp paper nestled within my 3 ring binder that was purposefully bought for this particular class because my other one broke.
Wow, professor just said Dick and Jane portrays a little girl slowly loosing her mind. I am a bit shocked.
I am going to miss classes like this when I graduate, because I enjoy learning new things. We are about to play some game-because that what the professor likes having us do.
German: hamburger, kindergarten, hamster, pretzel, nickel
French: bikini, buffet, beauty, bachelor, garage, egg
Latin: wine, cheese, kettle, butter, church
Norse: egg, ugly, crawl, sly
French have language police at academy to keep the language together. But not English which is modge podge of languages.

That is what I wrote last night during class, because I enjoy just sitting down and writing, although that also means I didnt hear maybe 3 mins of what the professor said. But she was reviewing what nouns are.... The class is called Linguistics and Writing for Teachers. The only reason I am taking it is to have another credit for graduation.
Okay, well since the computer just deleted the last bit of this, I guess I will just end it here.
Love,
Eliza

Today just isnt my day

I dont know why, maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, maybe a black cat crossed my path. Today I just am not feeling it. I did go to the RAC and swam, until they told everyone to get out of the pool because of the storm that is brewing outside, the same storm I will get to go through in just 2 hours to sit in a classroom for two hours, to then walk back across campus to my dorm room which atm I feel like is totally disgusting, not clean, messy. I am rather tired today also, even though I woke up at 10am I fell asleep last night around 2am.

Okay enough ranting, I ate cereal, salad, potato salad, and a fruity little bar. Smoothie, Lemonade, water.

I feel like I am doing well today with my eating healthy and trying to loose a little.

More later, Love, Eliza

Beautiful Life

Today I decided that since I have a gym to use, that I have already paid for, I will go to the gym just once a day, for one hour, to work out. I have the ability, I just need to set my mind on it and become disciplined.
Not really sure what to talk about tonight. Sitting in my dorm room watching this abc show about weight loss, I really want to loose it, cause I remember being small, even though I was so sick, it was really nice to be that size, I could fit into dresses at the store that I had dreamed about. I felt beautiful and attractive, and I knew I could do anything, even though I was in and out of doctors as well as on tons of meds. I went to the store and got healthy foods, healthy snacks, all I drink while here is coffee and water, but I really should step up the water and reduce the amt of coffee. Its harder to choose foods because its so easy and tempting to choose those that "taste great"
I went to aerobics today, I had to drop that class, I just couldn't run the amount that was required. I also went to my writing class, that was really unique. The class is focused on grammar for teachers, which is unique. I really think that I am going to enjoy that class.
This weekend a childhood friend, more like a big sister as she described herself the other day to someone, is getting married. Then I am hanging out with my family. On Sunday I think I am going to spend the day with the man whom I love so very much. And Monday is the 4th of July, so I will be doing something to celebrate this country and its history.
That's everything thats going on in the life of me!
Love,
Eliza

Not much to complain about... but still complaining

Hello Again,
So today, atm, I feel like just exploding and venting, and not going to take the two tests I have starting at noon until 4pm. Tomorrow I have FINALS! And then I get to go home for a few days. But then I have to just come back to this Hellish reality called school, or at least today its hellish. I just got registered for a 6pm-8pm summer class, So.... I am kinda pissed off atm. I am sorry if saying that offends anyone, I just really need to vent and I dont want to annoy anyone other than my followers :P
I have to have the mind set of I love CHFD and I love Econ for the next two days but it isn't really working. Maybe selling my books back tonight will help me feel better!! Oh and my allergies just started acting up, I could not really get to sleep last night, and I am banging my keyboard as I type in FURY.
I need to fold the clothes on the end of my bed, take out the trash, do the dishes, clean my counter space, and make sure everything is ready for class BUT............... I don't want to.
I am taking some really crappy classes next term. I know aerobics will help me, and that it is needed. But grammar for teachers is going to help me how?

Okay enough ranting... time to get to work and stop feeling all weird. Hope everyone has a better day than I am feeling like I am having. But maybe there is light at the end of this tunnel and today will turn around to be a FABULOUS day for everyone!!
Love, Eliza

Today...

So, today I am kinda feeling blah. Woke up around 9am, because I didnt go to sleep until around 1am last night. Atm, feeling a bit full because of the BBQ I just ate, refusing to use my hands. Forks are great, Spoons are better, and Sporks are just epic!
I made a B on my exam yesterday, I am really glad I did that well. Random q, do you think Hydroicut or other drugs like that actually work? I am not sure what my opninon is on them.
VBS night three is tonight. Its been a lot of fun playing the role I have because the children actually believe that I am her. They came up to me last night while I was in the hall and started telling me Jesus loves me, He is the Son of God, and I had to pretend they were wrong. Its like teaching them how to deal with non christians and what they can do to witness to others. I hope its making a little bit of difference, helping them grow some.
Anyways, Class time, so more later!
Love,
Eliza

Been A Minute

Hello,
Its been a minute since I last wrote- by minute I mean while, its a new slang term that I keep hearing everywhere, thought I would try it out, but I find it just as annoying when I say it as it is when I hear it from others. I thought I would blog today and just get some stuff off my chest, such as God is Amazing, Good, Gracious, Forgiving, Almighty, Omniscient. It has been soo very long since I have been this happy, this joyous. I love this.
Test this afternoon in Child Development, hope I do well. Honestly I will be okay with Bs this semester because I am taking 3 courses in one month, all at once. Its rather a pain in the butt, but I will get through this, finish these courses and move on to Term B and 2 more classes. I will be so happy when I have my well deserved break in July to August.
The Band Perry is playing in the background on CMT, love them, love their music, love that I saw them in concert before they became SUPERSTARS! lol. Last night I was washing dishes and singing, finally realized what range I sing best in and that I sound better singing show music than anything else.
VBS is this week at First Pres. Statesboro, and I am a character in Mary's House. I am her neighbour, Eunice who doesn't believe Jesus is the son of God and that Mary is CrAzY. Its fun, I get to actually act :P
I have read the bible the past three mornings for the first time in a long time and am feeling so great. I am also writing down verses that inspire me and sticking them on my wall, I hope to have my wall full by the end of Term B. It would be awesome to run out of room on the wall and have to start putting them on another wall or the door lol.
Gotta Study, hope everyone has a wonderful day!
Love,
Eliza

Enchanting

I wrote this during Child Development today, part of it I quoted the professor, because he says things occasionally that really make me either upset or just laugh at him. I know... thats rude, but if you heard the things he has said you would understand. BTW... this is me expressing my freedom of speach and what I really think.

I had an "enchanted" childhood. I was influenced to become who I am, my imagination and hopeless romantic-ness was formed by this. I recently took a quiz for Child Development and was classified under Idealist-Healer which says those types have enchanted childhoods, quest for self knowledge, improvement driven by imagination, and romantic.
We just labelled the professor and it totally said he was how he acts, but he goes 2 scores when he takes it the other is tireless in talking, powerful conviction, speaks out, intentional powers... what the.... key at probing observers, full of energy, confidence in making things happen. There is a reason he gravitated towards this profession- some days he gets to be both polar opposites that he has scored. He said his volume and intensity is only 20% when teaching but we should see him when he is advocating for children. The young lady in front of me whispered "kinda scary..."

All for today. Love, Eliza

Sweet Summertime again

Hello followers,
Although there are not many of you, I do hope you know I appreciate you!! So...
This may be a strange post today... Everyone thinks PDA is too much when they are not involved in it, but when you are its good. Anyways... I was kinda embarrassed today because of it, so I thought I would express my feelings on PDA here. I think its okay, as long as it isnt like the two people are completely on top of each other or anything. A kiss, a hug, hand holding, its all good.
HAHAHAHA Mc Hammer's version of "Addams Family" entitled Addams Grove is epically playing atm, while my bf has his niece walking around with a stinkin gators hat on. Although I will admit that she is soo adorable.
Crazy nightmare last night: I was in my parents front yard (which is a hill sloping down towards the street) I fell down and mom yelled from the front door that there were two snakes in the yard, I got up, ran into the house. I threw my boots off as she slammed the door. When I looked down one of the snakes had been in my boot and I hopped around on one foot (that still had a boot on) trying to kill the purple and green slithering monster. See... I am DEATHLY afraid of snakes and hate even talking about them. I was a bit freaked out, woke up and it took a while to fall back asleep.
Hope everyone has a safe and awesome Saturday night, Don't do anything I wouldn't :P (always wanted to say that!!)
Love Ya'll!!
Eliza

I dont want diamonds...

Here I am on Sunday, doing school work, at least the tv is turned to TLC which is having a bride sunday! lol. 

The title today is because of a quote, lets see if anyone knows what it is from.

"I don't want diamond sunbursts or marble halls. I just want you."

How romantic is that? I adore it, and the love story that it is from. 

I found out yesterday that someone very dear to me has read my blog, follows my blog, and even said there are some boring parts of it mixed into the craziness that is my life. I was soo happy he has been keeping up with it, since it means someone is paying some attn. 

Anyways... today's is gonna be super short since I am trying to knock out a bunch of school work today. More later!

Love, 

Eliza

Jane Austen

Yesterday was a rough day. I was sitting in class when I wrote this because I needed to vent and am tired of feeling like I am a burden when I complain to people.

To be the next great Jane Austen.
Love, be loved, and have to give it up.
As I sit in Econ class, bored to death and un-understanding of the material, I realize my fate. Why just when I am happy, just as I begin imagining a beautiful future with a wonderful man, BOOM, BAM, KABLEWY. it happens- a great fight to end it all. I just got a lovely idea to write a book of short stories about the girl/woman I would have been had I continued dating any of the men I have dated or even kissed for that matter. Of course I will have to change names and make up some facts. But now I am glad for having a crappy day because I came up with an awesome idea. Of course, I may never do anything with it, due to the fact that I come up with fantastical ideas that just sit in notebooks full of poems, characters, and like beautiful ribbons of thought descriptions of everything from cafes to cars to huge waterfall like fountains in the center of a square full of moss hung trees. 

Today is the last day of the school week, I am glad, I need a break! Have a great weekend!
Love Eliza

Ever

Have you ever had to do something that you absolutely did not feel like doing that day, but had no way of getting out of because the consequences of not doing that thing were so great? Totally whats going on with me today. Not wanting to go to class, my life has consisted purely of studying from the time I wake up until the time I go to sleep since Monday, today is Thursday, I am soo already over summer school. I was excited to come back but now I am just annoyed and tired. This hell doesnt end until June 23rd, at which point I will be done with these classes and begin a semester of just one class. Hopefully I will be much more happy during that time. Yesterday the professor in CHFD told us we had covered 2 weeks worth of information already. Thats crazy!!
Okay, enough venting, time for the walk across campus that makes me feel like I am gonna melt in the summer heat, and then four hours of class time. After that I will spend the evening studying. Ugh!
Love,
Eliza

6 Months

Hello World,
How have you been? Good to see you... hahaha. Today marks 6 months of this new relationship I am in with a wonderful man who loves me for me. Its really great to have someone care for you in that way and I cant wait to see what God has in store for us.
Summer semester has started as of yesterday here in the Boro. I am taking 3 courses, and have only one professor I am not so sure about. The classes seem a bit difficult, but I know God has put me here for a reason. The campus seems fairly empty, and there are literally six cars in the parking lot outside my door, in which there was hardly ever a spot available to park in last semester. The neighbours above are gone, making the noise in here very little and our two room mates who were supposed to move in have not. I am gonna give it until the end of this week, if they are not here by then I will assume I have a bathroom to myself once again.
"It just seems awfully quiet around here"
"Uh huh, guess we will just have to get used to it until Term B, when we have new room mates"
Ah conversations with just one room mate in a four person apt.
Its like I am kinda used to it but we had one other person living with us last semester.
Alright all for now, cause I am talkin to my roomie :P
Love,
Eliza

Ahh life.

Hey Yall
Tomorrow is the start of my two day torture of finals here at GSU. I just came up with my new motto for finals:
if I know it, I know it, if I dont, screw it.
I am soo ready for these days to be over, give me a break! Give me some peace!
Car broke down this weekend, it sucked, glad percy is fixed now.
Had a good time with the family this weekend, mother's day seemed to go over well.
Okay, time to see if I can sleep. More later.
Love Eliza

Goodmorning World

Hello,
I woke up to hacking coughs and a lion movie coming from the living room, sleeping with our bedroom door open has its disadvantages. I am tired, not to excited to be awake at 8am, but I was able to take a shower, get dressed, and we are currently watching King Kong, the really old version. Becca is yelling at Mikey and Rachel to wake up.... kinda to early for that if you ask me. I am ready for some more sleep...
Anyways, car broke down yesterday, but I did make it home. My car is now at the repair shop. I am really tired, so all for now.
Love Eliza

Old friends, coffee, and statistics.

Hey Ya'll, Happy Friday!!
I just found out I have a B going into my final for Statistics, which rocks, cause I am not good at math.
Last night I was chatting with a friend, whom I miss greatly, and he told me many things I needed to hear. One of which I shall quote now:
       "What we are able to do is not defined by us or our abilities but is instead defined by Christ and what He is able to do in us."
I am so very glad I got a chance to talk to someone who is going through some of the same things I am, but in different ways. Life is hard, but what we do with this one life we have... thats what matters. (I dont know if anything I ever blog makes sense, but idc) So... packed, ready to go after class, cant wait to hug momma, see the kids, and tell Daddy I love him. Then I am going out for coffee, but I will be home from Friday until Monday so its not like I will be out with friends all weekend. I dont feel so accomplished this week as I did last week, but thats okay, I am happy, getting healthy, and in a good spot in most of my relationships. Think I need to spend some more time with God, not sure how I will do it, but I will. That is an area in my life I have begun to not be strong in, so now wonder I am going through some stuff.
Anyways, Happy Happy Friday! Hope everyone's weekend is wonderful!
Love Eliza

Love being a college kid

So the title of this is so not what I want to blog about, but it is the tweet I just posted. Anyways.
I dont know if I am the only person who does this, and please dont read out of context. I love being there for my friends, I really truely do. Its something I have always strived to do and will always want to do, but when a friend is going through something tough I always re-evaluate my life. Such as if it is about car troubles, I think is Percy okay? About family issues, how is my family, should I call home more? About school, are my grades okay, do my professors think I am not doing enough? And about relationship issues, if I am single I think, why am I, and where is Mr Right? Why hasnt he shown up, and the next time I have to be in the hospital, will I be wishing I was holding Mr Not There's hand? If I am in a relationship (which I currently am) how is my relationship going, am I doing enough, what more should I do, I cant stand it when..., are we going to end up like them, will distance kill this relationship?
Yes, I over analyze things, but the point of this was to ask if anyone else does this, or if I am just a really strange person. Oh and I guess it was kinda nagging me because I am going through that last part, and I am kinda upset/depressed for the moment about it.
Anyways, second to last day of class, some classes I only have to go back for finals next week. So glad I survived this semester. Ready for my week long break, and then to jump head first into Summer semester with three classes in term A and one in term B. Yay....
Have a fantastic day!
Love Eliza

Revelations

I knew this before, but I hardly ever think of it until its to late. If I give it all up to God, getting caught up in the now and not the later, He handles everything. I wont worry as much, nor be sick like I currently am. So in light of the fact I remembered this just now, now that stress has overwhelmed me and I am almost at my breaking point, when the UTI, tears, and depression occur. I am at this moment so glad I have the Lord and that He stopped the cycle this time. I was freaking out almost an hour ago because of the stress. Currently I am not. In fact I can be excited about tonight, going to church, tomorrow going to class, and of course Friday, making the long drive home, to spend a lovely weekend with my family.
Finals next week, had a Stats exam today, not sure how I did. Wanting to write for the first time in a while, so I am really excited about the upcoming break from school so I can write.
All for now,
Love E

A search for the perfect french fry

So... this week is going to be extremely hectic. Last week of classes before finals week, which is really just two days long. I am glad this semester is almost over. I have written almost every paper that is due. Just have to re-write the last one, then I am done with my school work, and get to begin the process of studying. So... here goes a super long and complicated week. Not sure how much time I will get to blog this week, I think this is definantly more like a diary than anything so I am glad no one reads it, and if they do I dont know about them reading it. Not sure where I am going with this entry today. I was watching SIC and Carrie used the title I have on this entry for her latest. I thought it was funny so I am using it. If I did search for the perfect fry, I dont think I would find it, cause I dont know what the perfect fry is, everyone likes different things about fries. Some crunchy, some soft, some hard, some green, some burnt, some wedges, some strings, sea salt, without salt, etc.

I love that the theme of today is unexpected phone calls. Momma called earlier, and Kelsey just called now. At least I know people care and love me :)
Okay gotta go, more later.

Here is a few questions for you today:
What is wrong with being a believer? How many great loves do we get in one life time?

Love, Eliza.

Easter

Wow, today is kinda crazy. I am currently sitting in the living room with all of my siblings and mom. Its Easter, I went to church this morning took care of the nursery, then came home, ate lunch, took a nap, and went egg hunting. Now I am waiting for the ham to finish cooking for Easter dinner.
Today is five months in this relationship with a wonderful man! I get to go see him tomorrow, my birthday!! Yay, great weekend. Posted pics on fb.
All for now, just wanted to update.
Love Eliza

Writing makes me feel a little better!!

Well... it is almost 10am and I already know today is going to suck royally, probably until I get home, see my sisters, mother, brothers, and daddy. Somehow they always seem to get me to smile and laugh when I need it most. Today is one of those days. But I will be fine, go to my least favorite class, check my mail box, get in my cute little green car and rock out to music turned all the way up for 3 1/2 hours. Tomorrow I will play paint ball with the kids, have a small probably just family bday party, and then get rested for Sunday!! Which is Easter. I will wake up, go to church, eat lunch, easter egg hunt, help mom prepare the beautiful meal that she always has on this special holiday. We will sit around the table as a family in our Sunday best and say grace. Eat ham and talk about how great it is to have each other. Then after hanging out with the family for a while it will be bed time,  I will wake up the next morning and be 23. I will really treasure waking up and having breakfast with the family.
Okay, so that's my weekend. What do you have planned for yours?
Love,
Eliza

How do you know?

haha just realized that is a song in one of my favorite movies, anyways. How do you know? When do you get hit upside the head with the fact that person right in front of you was made for you? Which then brings me to the question is there just one? Can there be more than one? These questions can be very confusing, maybe it is just one of those things some people were born knowing their opinion of and others will never know. Telling someone that they are the one is a big deal but then does that mean that you should automatically marry that person whenever the next available date is? (SITC is not the best show for me to be watching because it pops up all of these crazy questions about love and relationships) Do we all have "Mr. Bigs"? or Rhett Butlers? Cause Rhett is a character that I relate Big to, idk why.

Another show I watched tonight was Vampire Diaries, so do Vamps exist? the mythical creatures of the night that fly around as furry little rats and hang from the ceiling of caves.

Okay enough about shows, My bday is in just a few days. I am very excited that I will be another year older but also very nervous. I am just glad that means that this semester is just about over and I will have an increase in my GPA :) Anyways, back to the homework and night of tv.
Love,
 Eliza

This breath that comes from you

I have been feeling so lost lately. I posted a song on here a few months ago and having just listened to it... its right. These days are completely flying by and I need to slow down enough to have time to focus on the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, the Alpha and Omega. Oh how I miss that relationship. The most important thing to me should be that relationship, He is important to me. I said I have been feeling lost, not that I dont know why I have, because I know exactly why. Time with Him should come before anything else, but somehow I always get so caught up in school work and friends. Since I can not push re-wind, I will start from this moment, this time I will stay on the straight path, I know for a fact its not easy, but for me to feel partially sane again I need to do this, for me, for Him, for everyone I love. Gotta remember who is #1. Besides.... there is just something about that high feeling I get during worship that is so much more powerful than ANY thing else in this world. Its that closeness that connection to God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit going through me, reaching my soul. I could jump for joy atm. That is how excited I am about getting this back. I used to be so happy, so excited about life. I let life tear me down, the daily grind of it all, the unimportant stuff. I am so done with letting that happen. I am a Jesus Freak and its time I started acting like it again. So... here goes everything!! 

Love,

Eliza

Re-living the past because I need to write.

For today's blog I shall take entries out of an old diary that seem rather important and put them here, because I am looking good subject matter for my CW class writing assignments (one Fiction piece and one nonfiction piece) I will warn anyone possibly reading this that it may get really personal for me and I may mention things that happened in the past that dont even matter anymore. I am only doing this cause I need to get some creative stuff. Okay here goes:


I dont know the date, but today is Monday. As each day passes the pain should and I believe will eventually pass away. The days have become a blended mass of confusion. I dont remember what time anything happened. Surgery was Tuesday, friends came Wednesday evening. Many phone calls were along the way. Mom spent the night with me in the room (447) each night and took good care of me. We could have left on Wednesday, but I didnt feel strong enough yet. I think I seriously scared one friend. The pain was just too intense to handle, so I cried. Mom held my hands, My friend just didnt know what to do. There were tornadoes that night so she had to call her brother who was waiting for her to be dont with her visit. She held my hand for about five or ten mins and left. 
I became allergic to my meds that night and I also started throwing everything up. I couldn't keep any food down. They changed pain medicines like 3 times until something finally worked (which turned out to be Morphine). 
I slept from Thursday 2pm until time to go home on Friday. When I did get home again I threw up as soon as I got out of the car. I went to my bed and mom gave me some medicine for pain and nausea. 
I found out last night why she stopped giving me the nausea pill-they made me sick too. 
Amy called and I asked her to come see me, She sat with me for a few hours and then left. Saturday was a blur- I think I slept, refuse to eat, and went to the bathroom. Sunday was better-my new motto- I am going to beat this- and God along with my family are going to help me because I can not do it alone. Sunday I walked around the house, ate real food, and watched movies. I sat up right. (March 2009)


**Break, because I could not continue writing in the little book until the next day... too much pain.
Half a year later, and just before a relationship ended. The confusion and pain are really intense which would make a good nonfiction work, not sure if I will use it but while I am re-living the past to help me in the present I might as well add the hurtful things in as well. I apologize to anyone who may get offended, but this is what I have dealt with.


" Have you ever felt lonely-like you've lost the one you love and nothing will ever make you feel whole?
God tell me what to do-tell me what to say- I just cant take my heart feeling this way.
It hurts in places I didnt even know existed and it feels like he is the only one who can fix this. Please father God do something- I cant take this anymore. 
Can I curl up into a ball and just wait until something- anything happens.
He pushed me away when I was cold last night- 
Why?
He doesnt love me the way I love him? My heart- I cant do this again. I said I dont need a man to make me whole- that I need Jesus- I know that but this still hurts- so freaking much. What do I do?
I asked him if he loves me, he said "I want to"
I am wondering what the but to that statement is. Because there seems to be one. 
I'm not upset. 
Just emotionally drained- lots of tears- lots of gasping for air." (10-2-09)


**Random bit that I thought was a bit hilarious in an entry later


"John played yesterday for the first time on the field at UGA! 3 plays that were amazing. His words about it"I really thought I was going to piss myself." Wow." (11-8-09)


" I deserve a man who will cherish time spent with me- who will pry when I say nothing is wrong, who will be there for me when I need him. He wouldn't kiss me. I am surprised he said ily. Expecting he wont in a few days." (5-21-10)


And for my entry today, cause I guess I should probably keep going with documenting my life...


Ahh the joys of having someone love you and knowing he actually gives a darn about how you feel is great!! I now know I want to write about happy things instead of dark depressing things so that exercise I just did wasn't for nothing. If I could live in my Andalasia world and think of love, Jesus, and butterflies all day I would be as happy as a song bird.
Cant believe I just typed out a few of the most hurtful things that have happened to me in the past few years, but I guess its a good thing cause it shows I am emotional and I have wounds that I can use to better my writing and future. I feel like once I get these two works done I can move on from this and write about the fairy tales that run thru my mind on bright sunny marvelous days such as today. I believe I am ready to start a new work and add yet another brilliant story to my growing portfolio. That will probably what tonights project will be. (Since I have like 7 papers due in the next few weeks)
I am glad I have done this today, it took an hour to get everything on my blog but I needed to kick start my creative flow and I have! I feel the passion to write exceeds what it was just earlier today, I haven't wanted to write in sometime due to the fact that I just wasn't really feeling it anymore, even though it is my favorite thing to do in the whole world. Okay... enough with this long freaking blog.
Have a lovely Saturday!!
Love E

Soul Mate

Do you think everyone has a soul mate? Just one person who is perfect? Many people have that first true love, does that love count as the soul mate or the one you fall for after the first doesnt work out? I dont think I can believe in just one person for everyone. There is a right person at the right time, or season of our lives, but idk. I guess I will know when I am older, married and madly in love with my husband. Then I might change my mind and say there is one person for each of us. The bible says that some can go without being married or having a sexual relationship, I could never be that person. I am too attached to the idea of being in a relationship, too in love with love and longing for that future dream.
So today I am working on school stuff, too much to do, too little time. Ever had one of those days? This is my break for this hour. Which is nice cause I didnt get a chance to blog yesterday. I hope I get a chance to work on my book this weekend, I also have to write a short story, which I will be posting on my creative blog, sister to this one.
Speaking of sisters, my sweet sister sent me a letter today and asked if I wanted to be her pen pal, how sweet is that? I am really excited about it cause I know when I was her age I loved having pen pals. I hope that I can be a better role model for her to look up to. Guess I need to work on a few things in my personal life, so I can do that.
Okay back to school stuff... More later!!
Love E

Upsets

Hello World!
Today I am having kinda a boring day. Woke up late, went to class, came back to apt, made lunch, watched Avatar, now watching tv. Church is tonight and I need to study just a little more for the test that I am taking tomorrow morning.
I am not really sure what to blog about today. I am reading a Sookie Stackhouse book currently, and need to be working on my book more. I am actually really frustrated that I havent been able to lately. Too busy for anything. Maybe I will find some time this weekend, since I didnt last weekend. I know I will eventually get more creative with my blogs.
All for today... I will think of something better to say for tomorrow.
Love E

Happy Tuesday

This weekend was a bit crazy. I went home for friday night, suprised my dad, cause he didnt know I was coming and then I went to Marietta on Satuday, where my bf didnt know I was going to suprise him. I had a lot of fun, and am glad I went. I am now back in my little apartment, in south GA just updating this blog and fixin to study! Test on Thursday in Health Education. Hopefully I will have more time to blog later this week!!
All for now,
Love E

Would You?

Lately I have been thinking of what love is and how to show how much you love someone. What does it take for them to get exactly how much you care? Moving to here and leaving everyone and everything I love behind was probably one of the most difficult things I ever could have done. I think I am fairly insane for doing this. I know God has a plan, there has to be a reason He told me to move, I just wish I knew now what it was. When I graduate, or maybe a few years later I will probably figure it out.
I have a Statistics exam this morning. We are allowed to have one sheet of paper with formulas and anything else we feel we might need. My paper is completely full and I have reviewed it so much. I feel confident and ready, lets do this!!
I am listening to pandora radio, good stuff. Jason Marz "I'm Yours" is playing and I am singing along cause I love to sing. I say I alot. Anyways, woke up this morning feeling great despite the nightmare, got up, got dressed, studied, put on make up, feeling a bit vain, (I feel awful about that). I know why I am so very happy this morning, I will talk about it either tomorrow or Sunday, cause I dont have time atm.
Time to go take a test!!
~Eliza

All we got is love left to loose.

             I started a new blog yesterday for my creative writing. I need to write, it not only makes me feel better, but I know it is something I should be doing. Its worth my time, especially if I am already spending a good bit of my time just watching tv or staring out the window or chatting online. I can break my time up and enjoy something I completely love. 

           My poem today was kinda out there and not really something I related to. I wanted to write it though because when an idea gets stuck in my head I need to get it out, kinda like vent. The idea will torment me until I write it down. Last time I wrote, in December, that I had a new man in my life and I was so happy. He is still very much in my life, and I do love him. 

           Things that have changed in the past few months... I am a complete coffee-aholic. I am in a small town in south GA, finishing up my first semester of classes, praying they are over very soon. This week I haven't really wanted to go to classes, but I am, I know better than skipping. Oh, I have been cooking, which has been an adventure. I find that it is a bit more difficult than I thought. 

So, that is my update for today. I do hope that I am able to keep this consistent this time, because I miss it. I don't care if someone reads it or not, just to have my thoughts down somewhere for me to look back on later. 

~Eliza